The Messy Reality of Leaving a Long-Term Relationship

This week, we got into something we know almost everyone has struggled with: what it actually takes to walk away from a long-term relationship.

We both share our personal experiences of leaving long relationships, including the whys, the good and bad things, and the parts we felt less than proud of.

Here's what we dig into:

• Why "just cut it off and let go" is terrible advice when you've shared half your life with someone

• The difference between leaving because you're afraid to be alone and leaving because you've outgrown the relationship

• How addiction becomes a person's "first love," and why their choices were never about your worth

• The myth that you have to be fully healed before you're allowed to be in a relationship

• Why staying together "for the kids" usually backfires (they absorb everything, every time)

• Jan playing devil's advocate on marriage and commitment, and Patti, the self-described commitment-aphobe, meeting her halfway

• The reframe that helped Patti most: what if this is as good as it gets, and you stopped waiting for permission to be okay anyway

The throughline is simple and a little maddening: love is not something you have, it's something you keep doing. And if you're struggling, get help. There is zero shame in it.

Review all resources here.

*Information shared on this podcast is not medical advice. If you have a concern about your physical or mental health, please seek support from a professional.