The Cycle Every Couple Falls Into (and How to Break It)

We're talking relationships today, and Jan's bringing the wisdom she's collected from 30 years as a couples therapist (plus 36 years of her own marriage).

Jan shares bits of the toast she's given at both of her sons' rehearsal dinners: her four hard-won truths about what actually makes relationships work. Then we dig into Pia Mellody's three golden rules of interdependence, the ones Jan says could make her rich if she had a quarter for every time she needed to explain them to a couple.

We get into:

• Why "falling out of love" might be the wrong way to think about it entirely

• The listening exercise Jan still uses in her own marriage

• What "celebrate the no" means and why it might save your relationship

• The pattern almost every couple falls into without realizing it

• Why keeping your side of the street clean changes everything

If you've ever caught yourself waiting for someone to just know what you need, or you're tired of carrying resentment instead of saying what's actually true, this episode is for you. Whether you're solid in your relationship or in the thick of a rough patch, these are the practices that hold up either way.

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*Information shared on this podcast is not medical advice. If you have a concern about your physical or mental health, please seek support from a professional.